In my blog entitled ‘Garbage In Garbage Out’ I discussed about how we express what we feed ourselves. In my effort to monitor what I feed myself, I noticed that the struggle is especially hard for the intangible things, namely my thoughts.
Yesterday, I was very bothered and negative. That was because I realized I committed a sin. I felt God was turning away from me because of my sin. I felt that He was no longer listening to me when I pray. I felt that my life was no longer lived according to His will. I felt that He had abandoned me and now I had to manage my life on my own, which I knew perfectly that I’m incapable of.
I felt lost without God and His guidance and presence. I lost my joy. I didn’t enjoy the food I ate, even though they were my favourite. I didn’t even enjoy the company of a good friend. No jokes could make me happy, no food could comfort me, no one was able to bring back the joy. I realized how irreplaceable God was in my life. I realized that without Him, everything else was meaningless.
I was searching in desperation a way to get back to God. I tried to pray, to read scriptures etc. But I knew there was nothing I can do to reconcile the relationship. No works from my part could win Him back. I had to wait for His grace.
And God was faithful, He spoke to me. He simply planted the bible verse ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’ (Hebrew 13:5) in my heart. That was a great revelation! Suddenly I realized how foolish I was. That I was deceived by my feelings. Realize how I used the word ’feel’, e.g. ‘ I felt God was turning away from me because of my sin. I felt that He was no longer listening to me when I pray. I felt that my life was no longer lived according to His will. I felt that He had abandoned me etc…’ All those were only my feelings, they were not truth! The truth was God NEVER left me nor forsake me!
Now I understand what it means to be set free by the truth. Now I understand how I can be easily deceived. Now I understand how destructive unwholesome thoughts can be. Let us be vigilant and sensitive to the traps around us, traps that make us fall into sin. God bless.
